Kill your ebay..

How to kill your ebay business?Although i wonder why would anyone in a right frame of mind do that.But that is exactly what a person asked me through my mail.Guy must be nuts!! Any i thought it to be funny and went about thinking how i would kill my ebay business:Here we go.. For a start make your listings as ugly,as possible.Use the maximum,possible colors,flashing lights and animations as possible,will really give those customers a headache. Write in screaming bold CAPITALS!!!!. Preferably big, red capitals. Be sure to use the fonts Impact and Comic Sans. For an extra special touch, see if you can figure out a way to add some mournful music. Say an item works fine,when actually it does not.Impress upon the customer,make the sale,accept the payment,send the damaged item,and then when the customer contacts you,don't answer him.And then when you have to answer him,do not listen to him,get into a heated argument and refuse to budge from your stand that the item was perfectly ok.Your customers will hate you! Do not deliver on time.Send the parcel,whenever you feel like it.Make sure to leave your customers hanging around, wondering when their item is going to turn up and whether it will turn up at all. Better still don't send the parcel at all,but inform your customer that you have send it.Keep ringing him up and ask him how the product was,till the customer screams at you! Send an item entirely different from the one ordered for,that after a lot of delay. Let your auction end in the middle of the night. Why go to the trouble of working out whether auctions will end at a good time? Treat your customers with utter disregard after you recieve your payment.Ask them not to disturb you with queries. Sell items of very low quality for a 200% profit.Do not give any discount or special deals which would make the customer come back to you. Be as brief as possible with your descriptions of your items, and use lots of mysterious abbreviations.All those screwball customers should break their head and start querying you.Hell with them!Don't you reply!! Use reserve auctions: Now, this is a fairly controversial final choice, but it really is one of the best ways to scare away your customers. They'll see 'reserve not yet met', and click that 'back' button before you know it. Luckily, they can always bid in a normal auction for the item somewhere else. Ring them up in middle of the night and threaten them with dire consequences if they ask for a refund or complain to ebay. After all this you will no doubt kill your business,but your customer will never deal online anywhere again.There you are you have killed your business and you have killed your customer